SIMPLY BE SIMPLE

 

Reality and thoughts

Life is what it is, and how we adapt to it in our daily lives is a challenge that every human being faces. Money isn't everything. In my opinion, the happiness quotient is not directly related to accumulating more wealth, although having sufficient money is necessary to avoid troubles and tensions. What constitutes sufficient money, however, depends on how one adapts to the ups and downs of life, regardless of their material possessions. Therefore, earning a living is essential, as without it, the poor may become worried and unhappy, while the rich may become complacent and arrogant. Nevertheless, money is not the only thing that matters in life.

I didn't come from a well-to-do family. In fact, I wasn't even aware that hotels offered food, snacks, and coffee for a price until I started attending PU College. Visiting cinema theaters was also a foreign concept to me, and I didn't own a bicycle. Academically, I wasn't a high achiever, so I opted for commerce and graduated with a bachelor's degree in commerce. Immediately after completing my graduation in 1977, I landed a clerical job at a financial institution (thanks to a newspaper advertisement; several banks recruited heavily between 1976 and 1980). I was posted to a small town in Karnataka, far from Mysore. With a meager salary, my savings were virtually nonexistent. I lived in a neighborhood predominantly inhabited by Brahmin families (both Madhwa and Smartha) who had been residing there for centuries. During my three-year stint in that town, I encountered many Brahmin families struggling to make ends meet, unable to afford even the minimal expenses required to educate their children in government schools.

In light of these circumstances, many young individuals pursued Veda paatha and became priests, while others discontinued their studies after 10th grade to work in factories, among other options. Witnessing the struggles of parents to mobilise funds for their daughters' marriages was especially difficult for me to bear. My time in that small town had a profound and lasting impact on me, shaping my mindset and perspective. As a result, I transformed myself into a simple person, finding happiness in what I have and what I earn through legitimate means. I also recognised that I couldn't expect my wife or children to adopt the same simplicity, and I shouldn't impose my values on them. However, I remained committed to following this path myself. Thus, I made a conscious decision to lead a simple and unassuming life, regardless of any growth in my assets. This resolve was further solidified in 1982 when I received a promotion to the officer cadre, which significantly improved my financial situation.

When my friend's family arranged for a meeting with the prospective bride’s family in late 1983, I saw one (first) girl and said yes and got married to her. But, though it was an arranged alliance by the parents, I had a difficult situation with my parents as well as prospective parents-in-law in convincing them to keep the wedding simple.

This is how I convinced them…

1. All rituals (shastras) to be followed. 
2. Shastras never say that marriage should be in Choultry, so the temple was fixed. 
3. Shastras don’t say to print invitations, so printing invitations were cancelled. Inland letters were written to relatives. 
4. Shastras are not aware of reception, so cancel it. 
5. Shastras never demanded any photographer to be called, so no photos of the event. 
6. Only one purohit for both sides. 
7. All rituals must be followed, hence followed. 
8. Invitation limited to only close relatives/dearest ones. 

I took earned leave and traveled to Mysore from Mumbai without informing my colleagues at the office. Somehow, my marriage was completed within 20 hours (6 pm to 2 pm the next day) in February 1984 at the Vyasaraja Matha Temple in Tirumakudalu, T Narasipur, Karnataka. About 40 close family members and friends attended, and while some were happy and others were not, I have no regrets.

Now, I'm financially secure, with sufficient assets, and I don't need to rely on anyone for anything. What I do crave is love and affection from my family members, and I'm grateful to say that I'm receiving it in abundance. Throughout my life, I've adhered to a simple and uncomplicated way of living, and I intend to continue doing so in the future.

I wouldn't say I tried to set an example; rather, my heartfelt desire was fulfilled. More than 33 years have passed since my marriage, and I can confidently say that I am truly happy and content. I have no regrets, and I'm not bothered by the successes of those around me - whether it's a neighbor buying a car, a friend purchasing a home or getting a promotion, or embarking on a European tour. I've learned to appreciate my own simple joys and find peace in my uncomplicated life. In the end, I've come to realise that true happiness lies not in material possessions or external validation, but in living a life that is authentic and meaningful to me.

May my story serve as a source of inspiration for young minds, reminding them that true happiness and fulfillment can be found in living a simple, authentic life. I wish them all the best on their own journeys.

***

end- ನಡೆದದ್ದು thoughts documented sometime ಇನ್ December 2018

.

go back to... 

    click--> LINKS TO ARTICLES 

...