RECONNECTING CLASSMATES OF SCHOOL OR COLLEGE

college mates meeting for the first time after 47 years 

Reconnecting with Old Friends: A Reality Check 

A popular adage suggests that friends from our school days are a treasure to cherish, especially during retirement. After settling in Mysore, I had the opportunity to reconnect with a few schoolmates. While they were friendly and cordial when we met, I couldn't help but feel that the intimacy we once shared as students was missing.

Despite my invitations, a couple of friends never reciprocated by inviting me to their homes, even after I welcomed them to visit me with their spouses. They didn't visit my home, despite my follow-ups. Another classmate would deliberately avoid picking up my calls or say he is busy with some work. Then there is a classmate who lives just a few yards away; he would speak warmly when we met or when I visited his home. I invited him and his wife to my home on several occasions, but he never reciprocated, subtly hinting that I should stop visiting him too frequently.

These experiences have left me wondering if reconnecting with old friends is truly as rewarding as we often make it out to be.

One college classmate took the initiative to create a WhatsApp group and tracked down around 12-15 college classmates, adding them to the group. We organised a meetup in February 2024, but I must admit that I struggled to recognise anyone, and our conversations felt forced. We didn't connect on the same wavelength.

Hence, my attempt to reconnect with a larger group of classmates didn't quite yield the expected results. It was clear that we had all drifted apart, and the reunion felt more like meeting strangers than reconnecting with old friends.

My attempts to reconnect with old classmates haven't led to lasting friendships. I attribute this mainly to the significant gap in time since we last interacted. Another reason may be that our lifestyles have diverged over time. Despite my initial enthusiasm, our connections haven't been sustainable.

Reuniting with old friends can be a bittersweet experience, especially when the innocence and simplicity of our student days are lost. In my experience, three major factors can contribute to the strain on these rekindled friendships:

1. Financial comparisons: Some friends may constantly compare their financial strengths to that of other friends, leading to an awkward sense of potentially driving them apart.
2. Ego and superiority complexes: Lingering egoistic tendencies can cause some friends to assert their superiority, creating an imbalance in the relationship and making it difficult to reconnect.
3. Jealousy and comparison of successes: When friends compare their lives' successes and achievements, jealousy can creep in, ultimately leading to a breakdown in the friendship.

However, I've come to realise that the new friends I've made in my daily life – in my neighborhood, park, or through community activities in RSS Karyalaya– have become incredibly close to me. We share our thoughts freely, discussing everything from personal matters to current events.

Unfortunately, the love, affection, and innocence that defined our friendships during student life may not always be rekindled when we meet again after a long time. 

To conclude, I have been fortunate to maintain close relationships with three schoolmates and six college classmates. The main reason for the closeness is continuity in contact after education.

What's your genuine take on reuniting with former classmates after a long time?

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end- elloo ನಡೆದದ್ದು ಅಲ್ಲ imagination thoughts documented ಸಂಟೈಂ ಇನ್ 2002 by ಸುರೇಶ್ ಹುಲಿಕುಂಟಿ

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