CAN WE REDUCE MARRIAGE EXPENSES

 

Reality and thoughts

This write-up is specifically designed for poor and middle-class families. Money plays a vital role in our lives, and earning enough to make ends meet is a constant struggle.

Marriage is one of the most significant expenses many of us will incur, with a substantial amount of hard-earned money spent in just a couple of days. Yet, even after spending so much money, many of the guests are not happy for one reason or the other.  That is to say,  some will be unhappy over one issue or the other. Finally the host will be unhappy even after spending a high amount of money in a marriage ceremony.  

Under this context, why can't one reduce marriage expenses and set an example for others? It is definitely possible to drastically reduce marriage expenses if the following initiatives are undertaken:

1. Take the groom and bride into confidence and discuss in length for reduction in marriage expenses. 
2. Don't listen to any suggestions from relatives.
3. Conduct marriage away from the bride's or groom's place of residences.  Conducting in a temple or a small town is even better.
4. Fix a small marriage hall which accommodates about 50 chairs in the main hall.
5. Fix the marriage hall for only 24 hours or 36 hours.
6. Print less than 40 invitation cards on the bride's side and 40 cards on the groom's side.
7. Limit invitees only to direct first circle relatives.
8. Limit invitation only to very very close friends.
9. Buy only limited clothes for your family.
10. Don't accept gifts.
11. No giving gifts to anyone.
12. No allotment of catering on contract basis.  May have to work harder.  Yet it will give high results. Bring items by yourself. Give only a labour contract for cooking.
13. No reception. And to those who question, please remind that the concept of reception is not there as per shastra.
14. Adhere to all shastras prescribed in our tradition, including 'tamboola' to the guests.
15. Limit professional videography time, say, to capture only the important shastra moments.  After editing, let the video time be say, 30 minutes.
16. Limit professional photography, say, to 100 captures.
17. Less guests, more joy.
18. Discuss, think and execute the best way to reduce expenses wherever possible.
19. To all those who have money and capable of spending the money:- Keep aside all the saved expenses and utilise the money for any better cause.
20. Set an example in society. 

Finally, one needs to be strict and confident. There are many families in need of basic necessities. So, please consider helping them by setting aside the money that would be spent on your family's social functions, or invest in creating an asset for a newly married couple, thereby helping them.

By implementing the suggested measures, I acknowledge that it can be challenging to face family and societal members, but it is achievable. Do we really need to squander our hard-earned money on extravagant weddings or social functions? Take a moment to reconsider before making a decision. To curb unnecessary expenses, it's essential to limit invitations to family members only for all religious functions.

It goes without saying that making tough decisions and facing criticism from some individuals is unavoidable. Regardless of how much money is spent, some people will inevitably find fault and criticise.

Good luck to all those who want to bring change in systems.

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जब शादी की तारीख फिक्स हो जाती है तो लड़की का बाप लड़के के बाप से पूछता है कितनी बारात लाओगे?

लड़के का बाप कहता है तीन सौ।

लड़की का बाप बोलता है इतनी बारात बहुत ज्यादा हो जाएगी, दो सौ बारात ले आना।

लड़के का बाप कहता है दो सौ बारात में हमें नहीं होगी हमारी इज्जत चली जाएगी। गांव में हर घर से कम से कम एक आदमी तो पूछना ही पड़ेगा तो सिर्फ गांव के दो सौ लोग हो जाएंगे फिर हमारे रिश्तेदार और घर की औरतें हो जाएंगी, जिसे नहीं पूछेंगे वही बुरा मान जाएगा इसलिए कम से कम तीन सौ लोग आएंगे। हम तो आपके हालात देखकर तीन सौ बाराती ला रहे हैं वरना हमारा परिवार इतना बड़ा है कि और इतने नाते रिश्तेदार हैं कि हमें चार सौ बाराती से ज्यादा लाना चाहिए।

कुछ दिनों बाद जब उसी लड़के वालों के घर में कोई बीमार हो जाता है तो पूरे गांव में कोई एक यूनिट खून देने वाला नहीं मिलता। सोशल मीडिया में अपील करना पड़ता है। अगर किसी से झगड़ा हो जाता है तो पूरे गांव में दो लोग ऐसे नहीं मिलते जो कोर्ट में चलकर ज़मानत ले लें।

मेरा मानना है कि बारात में सिर्फ उन्हें ही लेकर जाना चाहिए जो

एक यूनिट ब्लड दे सकें और जो कोर्ट में खड़े होकर तुम्हारी जमानत ले सकें। 

बस यही तुम्हारे हैं बाकी सब गैर हैं।

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end- thoughts documented ಸಂಟೈಂ ಇನ್ 2002 by ಸುರೇಶ್ ಹುಲಿಕುಂಟಿ

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