30 Dec 2020 - thoughts
When Can We Truly Enjoy Life? A Look at Reality
Most of us—roughly 98% of India's population—grow up in lower-middle-class or poor families. Our initial years, spanning at least 17 years from nursery to graduation, are dedicated solely to securing a good education. Afterward, we must strive to find a job, often settling for a position we aren't passionate about. While employment brings initial relief, that joy is quickly diminished by the desire for a better role. Until we land a truly fulfilling position, there’s little inclination to enjoy life. And if we can’t secure that ideal job or are unwilling to relocate, we’re forced to stay put. Even when we finally settle into a good career, that satisfaction is usually short-lived. New worries, like adapting to office changes, soon emerge. And by then, we've also reached marriageable age.
The Burden of Responsibility
Assuming one gets married and starts a new life, the initial phase may seem fine. However, challenges quickly mount. These include understanding a spouse, maintaining harmony with in-laws, and securing major loans, like a home loan and a vehicle loan. Once loan repayments begin, financial burdens and new anxieties, such as job security, start to weigh heavily on the mind. The birth of a child brings even more responsibilities. Simultaneously, there's workplace pressure to update skills and secure promotions. As children grow, parental duties increase relentlessly, and the cycle of worry often has no logical end until the children are finally married.
The Final Chapter of Worry
Let's set aside the worries of our children's independent families for a moment. By the time that phase is over, retirement age is either imminent or has already arrived. At this point, life seems settled: we own a home, have a sufficient income for comfort, and are presumably free from financial and familial worries. However, a new and unavoidable concern has already emerged: health issues. This worry often becomes the primary preoccupation until death.
So, When Can We Be Happy?
If this is the reality of life's progression, when can a person genuinely be happy most of the time?
Yes, there is an answer. It's possible only if we adopt the following simple yet challenging approaches:
- Accept reality and keep moving forward.
- Embrace challenges, face them head-on, and press on even when you fail to solve problems.
- Look at others who are still struggling. Consider families who have even greater worries than you do.
- Don't be envious of families who have a higher standard of living.
- Remove jealousy from your heart. Focus on your family's well-being rather than worrying about what society thinks of you.
- Remember, society will never be there to help you. Prioritise your family. Strive for a qualitative life.
- Help the poor to some extent and derive happiness from that act.
The Happiness Quotient
Ultimately, if there is some thrill, worry, and tension in your life, that itself can be a wonderful life, provided we take it sportingly and accept challenges. Problems are an inevitable part of life, affecting everyone regardless of caste, social status, wealth, or poverty. In my view, the happiness quotient is entirely separate from one's circumstances; anyone can be happy if they face problems with the right spirit. By embracing life's challenges with resilience and optimism, we can transform our struggles into opportunities for growth. Our attitude toward life’s problems is what truly determines our happiness and fulfillment.
P.S. I had saved the following lines that were written by me sometime in 1981. It appears logical even after so many years.
- ವಾಸ್ತವವನ್ನು ಒಪ್ಪಿಕೊಂಡು ಮುಂದುವರೆಯಿರಿ.
- ಸವಾಲುಗಳನ್ನು ಸ್ವೀಕರಿಸಿ, ಅವುಗಳನ್ನು ಧೈರ್ಯದಿಂದ ಎದುರಿಸಿ. ಸಮಸ್ಯೆಗಳನ್ನು ಪರಿಹರಿಸಲು ವಿಫಲರಾದರೂ ಸಹ ಮುಂದುವರೆಯಿರಿ.
- ಇನ್ನೂ ಕಷ್ಟಪಡುತ್ತಿರುವ ಇತರರನ್ನು ನೋಡಿ. ನಿಮ್ಮ ತೊಂದರೆಗಳಿಗಿಂತ ಹೆಚ್ಚಿನ ಚಿಂತೆಗಳನ್ನು ಹೊಂದಿರುವ ಕುಟುಂಬಗಳನ್ನು ಪರಿಗಣಿಸಿ.
- ಉನ್ನತ ಜೀವನಮಟ್ಟದೊಂದಿಗೆ ಇರುವ ಕುಟುಂಬಗಳ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಅಸೂಯೆ ಪಡಬೇಡಿ.
- ನಿಮ್ಮ ಹೃದಯದಿಂದ ಅಸೂಯೆಯನ್ನು ತೆಗೆದುಹಾಕಿ. ಸಮಾಜವು ನಿಮ್ಮ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಏನು ಯೋಚಿಸುತ್ತದೆ ಎಂದು ಚಿಂತಿಸುವ ಬದಲು, ನಿಮ್ಮ ಕುಟುಂಬದ ಯೋಗಕ್ಷೇಮದ ಮೇಲೆ ಮಾತ್ರ ಗಮನ ಹರಿಸಿ.
- ನೆನಪಿಡಿ, ನಿಮಗೆ ಸಹಾಯ ಮಾಡಲು ಸಮಾಜವು ಎಂದಿಗೂ ಬರುವುದಿಲ್ಲ. ನಿಮ್ಮ ಕುಟುಂಬಕ್ಕೆ ಆದ್ಯತೆ ನೀಡಿ. ಗುಣಾತ್ಮಕ ಜೀವನವನ್ನು ನಡೆಸಿ.
- ಬಡವರಿಗೆ ಸ್ವಲ್ಪಮಟ್ಟಿಗೆ ಸಹಾಯ ಮಾಡಿ ಮತ್ತು ಅದರಿಂದ ಸಂತೋಷವನ್ನು ಅನುಭವಿಸಿ.
